Most of the married couples with children have one serious problem: they have no sex life whatsoever. If you don’t have kids yet, just imagine the following situation: your oldest son goes to school and undergoes the strongest influence of rough and rebellious teenage years, your two-year-old daughter is occupied with everything that is going on, touching and exploring every bit of your furniture. The last two children are newborn twins who demand 24/7 day to daycare. And these families not only exist, they manage to somehow live and enjoy everyday life outside their kids’ world. But the one thing that is constantly suffering is your sexual life, where a wife does not want any intimacy after giving birth, doing the everlasting cooking and laundry. Her husband if tired as hell during the workday and everything he can expect from their evening is a tired spouse with slightly sloppy hair and insecurities about her stretch marks. Of course, this picture is as depressive as it is real. What do you do in such cases?
1. Children can wait
This sounds really selfish, but psychologists recommend families to separate from their children when it is possible. Your kids can sit with grandmas and grandfathers, visit their friends or just have a fun night at your sibling’s house. Sex has to be high quality, in the worst case, you will lose all of the temptations to each other. It is much better to perform an intercourse for thirty minutes once in two weeks than lock up in a bedroom for two minutes when children are drawing dinosaurs in the living room.
2. Exude passion in everyday chores
It is much more important than exquisite sex-toys and different positions. You need to establish a continuous contact with your partners that will work out even when your intercourse finishes. Make playful compliments, flirt and don’t be afraid to do it in front of your children. You don’t see too many, for instance, Russian girls dating men and being boring and passionless, even when children are everywhere!
Why is it so important?
As long as your contacts are not too racy to perform when kids are around, it is healthy. Psychologists claim that children need to see parents who maintain contact in everyday life to establish a good example and give the understanding of love. Families who raise children in puritan environment may eventually confuse your young man or woman, also it increases the risk of raising emotionally unavailable children.
3. Talk about sex and romance
It raises the level of mutual understanding and trust between the couple. Say what you liked in bed last time, share your feelings in the process, tell each other what you would like to try again. If you are embarrassed to ask your husband to try something new, say what you dreamed about, how you did it in a dream, and evaluate his reaction. If this intrigued him, ask him if he would like to try it in life.
4. Don’t forget about the prelude
Unfortunately, only 17% of the families with kids find time for a good prelude. Music, massage, candles – those are one of the biggest stimulators of sexual satisfaction. In addition, those actions help to switch after a day of working hard and concentrate as much as possible on enjoyment.
5. Don’t turn your sex into the petting zoo
Couples that treat each other like children or kittens are not cute, it is completely cringe-worthy. Mature people should feel passion and not tremble over an unfinished salad. Sure, such behavior is gentle and caring, but eventually all the romance might fade away when a wife treats her husband like one of the children.